Nicholas Hunt/Getty Images for City HarvestIt's not always cool for a celeb to talk about a struggle or problem with alcohol, but Chrissy Teigen has proved time and time again she's not your average star and that there's no topic too taboo for her.
During a frank interview with Cosmopolitan, the personality opened up about her drinking habits, admitting that she didn't like how she was behaving.
Last month, the Teigen and husband John Legend, who have been on a summer full of vacations with daughter Luna Legend, went to a wellness retreat in Bali and that's when the social media superstar had a serious revelation about how much alcohol she was consuming.
"I was, point blank, just drinking too much," she confessed. "I got used to being in hair and makeup and having a glass of wine. Then that glass of wine would carry over into me having one before the awards show. And then a bunch at the awards show. And then I felt bad for making kind of an ass of myself to people that I really respected. And that feeling, there's just nothing like that. You feel horrible. It's not a good look for me, for John, for anybody."
She said it's particularly hard not to drink in Los Angeles when booze comes with the A-list lifestyle and that she fears she won't be able to do it cold turkey.
She told the mag, "Imagine everything we have...Everything is there, always. I don't know how to go to an awards show and not drink."
The mom of one also admitted that she "can't have just one drink" and that there's a history of alcohol abuse in her family, she said, and she's the type of person who "can't just have one drink."
John Legend's lady love also admitted that along with the medications she's taking for postpartum depression and anxiety, that "alcohol is like the least thing that helps."
As for how she came to realize she had an issue, she says, "Nobody really brought it up to me...They just assumed that it was okay because I always felt okay the next morning. I knew in my heart it wasn't right. It makes you very short with people."
Additionally, while brunches with gal pals look good on Instagram the reality was quite different. She said,"People think it's cutesy and fun to go on these boozy brunches, but there's more to it. I've never once been like, 'I'm sure glad I had that boozy brunch!'"
The 31-year-old also admitted she thought the idea of not drinking it all was crazy, but that recently her perspective has shifted.
"I used to think it was kind of nutty to have to go totally sober, but now I get it," she said. "I don't want to be that person…I have to fix myself."
Another reason she may want to stop drinking is that she and Legend are choosing to go through IVF again in hopes of having a second baby.
Teigen said she and Legend have been taking so many trips this summer because they know they are about to have a difficult time in attempt of getting pregnant again.
"We're going to try to have a child. This is for us to try to get in the zone of 'let's travel, let's be away together, let's see our closest friends,' and then we're going to have to do something super hard, which is the IVF process, all over again."