The Awful Truth

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Dear Ted:
I love your column—it's fun trying to follow the clues. Saturday's column mentioned that Vanefron is almost over because Vanessa Hudgens lied about her nude photos. What did she lie about?
—Ginny

Dear Not Exactly:
They're almost over for many reasons—and they don't necessarily have to do with her nude photos. She's clingy and possessive, for starters. Also, she lied about something having to do with her photos, but I don't want my ass sued by Team Hudgens, so I'm keeping my lips (which have no injections in them of any kind) zipped.

Dear Ted:
George Eads is engaged, and now Jensen Ackles. I see a pattern here...But thumbs up to Matthew Bomer!
—Closet

Dear Wise One:
I must say even I'm a little thrown off by the pattern. Can you enlighten me please?

Dear Ted:
A few questions. First, if Angie is looking for a Brad 2.0, then why doesn't she just keep Brad 1.0? Second, do you think Johnny Depp could actually be swept up by Angie like Brad was? Third, could you give a few names of who you would consider to be a Brad 2.0?
—Rick

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AP Photo/Chris Pizzello

Dear Ted:
I used to like Jen Garner, but I've been bothered with how much she exposed Violet to photographs. And I'm pretty surprised that she's not acting the same with the new one. What gives? Another point: Is there any truth to the Duchovny-Anderson romance? Back in the day, they probably weren't followed everywhere like Rob and Kristen, so there's probably no evidence of any relaysh. What do you say about it? A last point: Thank you for all your posts about animal shelters. I'm a fervent defender of the animal cause. I own a cat; I used to have a dog. It's a responsibility. People aren't always aware of that.
—Confused Europa 

Dear Garnightmare:
We're dying to get Gillovny back into the pages of the A.T., you interested? I know they are. 

Dear Ted:
In a recent interview, Brad Pitt reports that he and Angie "very, very rarely fight." I'm not sure I buy that because their relationship seems so hot and cold to me when they're out in public. What do you think about his comment? Is it true? Is he in denial, or just covering up the truth for the media?
—KMThoreson 

Dear Peach Pitt:
Good eye. And totally not true, or else they wouldn't have such good sex. There's far much more to Brangelina than what gets snapped or is reported in the rags. 

Dear Ted:
Does Kristen Stewart smoke?
—Singstar 

Dear Bad, Bad Bella:
Does it matter? 

Dear Ted:
I don't get why people are getting so upset over Robsten's place in your column. How I see it, if you don't like it, then either go to another (less-reliable and hilarious) site or just follow (insertnameofyourfavoritecelebtritycouplehere) until Robsten is confirmed, either by way of public face suckage or a sex tape. I, on the other hand, don't need the previously mentioned because I've listened from the beginning. Also, thanks to you and your story, I started to volunteer at a local animal shelter. Thanks from all the kitties and puppies!
—WILinnix

Dear Volunteering Virgin:
Bravo on your volunteer work, dollface. As for Robsten, you're saying what we're all thinking. 

Dear Ted:
What's up with this whole Nick and Miley on-again, off-again relationship? Are they together or not? Did Miley really kiss Nick on the cheek at the TCA like some people who were there are saying?
—Stef

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Mark Davis/Polk Imaging

Vanessa Hudgens stopped by the Oakley Intro to Summer Event at Skybar in West Hollywood this week. V donned her summer best, dressing quasi-sexy in one of those "I swear I'm innocent" white flowy dresses. Ms. Hudgens stopped by the shindig at the Mondrian hotel to swoop up some Oakley luggage because boy-toy Zac Efron took hers!

'Ness, who has been known to be a bit possessive referring to her boyf as "my Zac," was overheard saying that she gave all of her good bags to the 17 Again star because he had been doing so much promotional traveling. Aw, what a good girlfriend!

Another babe who's probably happy she's out of her demanding relaysh was…

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Is Zac Efron ready to settle down at the ripe old age of 21? Is Rob Pattinson keeping away from Kristen Stewart? And do you think a juicy Brangelina book (or two, or three) would outsell Twilight? It'd better! Get your extra scoop of video goss in this week's Truth, Lies & Ted!

Is Vince Vaughn thinking about putting a ring on single lady Jen Aniston? Why is the Twitter king Ashton Kutcher majorly pissing me off? And is Nikki Reed getting cozy with some badly behaving companions on the New Moon set? Can tell ya, it ain't Rob Pattinson! Find out in today's Truth, Lies & Ted!

AP Photo/Matt Sayles

Clearly most of you bitchin' commenters are starting to see that not every relaysh is People-friggin' perf. Jen Aniston and John Mayer may act like a "normal" couple, but you all know, and mostly agree, something just isn't what it seems there.

Now for some of you whiners, no, we don't think every Hollywood couple is fake, just that most have their own agendas, but hey, a lot of regular people use each other, too.

So who are our three of fave user couples?

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