Morning Piss: Gyllenspoon-Fed Merde

Tue., Oct. 28, 2008 4:02 AM PDT by Ted Casablanca

BB/DS-ISM/Flynet

J'adore Reese and Jake. Those sweethearts are two of the most talented, adorable and luscious babes to hit T-town in some time.

Don't agree?

Think Reese is just a pixie-ish little waif with pale sex appeal? Think again. And if you consider Jake all boyish 'n' bashful brooding, no real outward he-man stuff goin' down, think again on that score, as well. R 'n' J are both terrifically not of what you see in real life.

And this whole aw-shucks romance they've got going down is so not how both types really are—why in the world the public is lapping it up, hook, line and photo-op, is beyond me.

Just look at their pics together, everybody! They act like bro 'n' sis (and not even particularly close ones, at that). These babes have movies and careers and agendas to sell, oldest story in the world. Jen and Vince, anyone?

Ms. W is the craftiest broad alive; she's teaching J.G. spectacularly well. Just ask Ryan Phillippe if you don't believe this to be a high probability. But on the other hand, if this sorta white-bread, milquetoast romance is what you need to get your fantasy on every morning, then, dears, go right ahead, be my limp guest.

I just prefer my Awful readers to be fully informed consumers, that's all.

View Next Articles

74 Comments

Show the next 1 - 0 of 74 comments

Now loading...

Hello, you either have JavaScript turned off or an old version of Adobe's Flash Player. Get the latest Flash player.

Tell Ted All About It

Got a hot tip or bitch? Share it, and you might see it here!

Our Partners

PopSugar

David Beckham Heads Back to LA For Rest and Relaxation
David Beckham touched down in LA yesterday after his weekend trip to Seattle for the MLS finals... more >>
Gwyneth Shows London Some Shoulder
Gwyneth Paltrow was decked out last night to celebrate the opening of London's Dean Street Town... more >>
Jon Hamm Pops Up in Plaid in an Entirely Different Town
Jon Hamm flashed a big smile after a meeting in LA yesterday afternoon. He's back in California... more >>
Read more at PopSugar.com »