DMX Profanely Pleads Out in Miami Drug Bust

DMX, Mugshot Maricopa County Sheriff's Office

DMX is slowly cleaning up after himself. Albeit a bit messily.

The beleaguered rapper was sentenced to time served Thursday in Miami after pleading not guilty to attempted marijuana and cocaine possession, a deal that will allow him to avoid jail time—in the Sunshine State, at least.

He was also ordered to pay a $483 court fine and return for a follow-up hearing Oct. 3. To which DMX could be heard replying, "I ain't coming back on f--king Oct. 3," per MTV News.

But they're apparently going to let him leave anyway.

"You need to tell your client that I've heard the F-word before," Judge Lawrence Schwartz told defense attorney Bradford Cohen. "He can send it to me anytime he wants to come in, if that's what makes him happy, but he certainly didn't help his stature any with what he mumbled as he left the podium."

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Rate-a-Trailer: Greatest Chihuahua Movie of All Time

So a bunch of YouTubers are weirded out by the teaser for Beverly Hills Chihuahua, which features wee Aztec canines singing DJ Bobo’s chart-topping (well, in Europe) single aptly titled “Chihuahua.” But us? No way, we adore it!

Now that the all-plot, no-singing (aw, we miss it!) trailer is finally out, we’d like to ask everyone to reconsider this Chihuahua. It’s clearly a harrowing tale about a spoiled Chihuahua—voiced by Drew Barrymore—who must overcome her vanity and prejudice to not only find her way home but also find herself and true love.

OK, it’s probably not that moving, but it does feature a rat-and-iguana comedy duo. Plus, George Lopez’s Papi is the cutest Chihuahua we’ve seen around. (And, living in the epicenter of the spoiled Chihuahua crisis, we've seen plenty.)

Give the trailer a go, and let us know what you think in the comments. But please, hold onto your tacos!

Jessica Simpson Shops With a Dog—but You Can't

More from Ask the Answer Bitch

Why are celebs allowed to bring their little dogs everywhere and normal people aren't? I just saw a picture of Jessica Simpson with her dog at Ralphs!
—F.S.

Well, if I told you that Jessica Simpson's Maltipoo was the world's smallest, curliest Seeing Eye dog, would you believe me? No? God, you're jaded.

"We allow only Seeing Eye dogs in our stores," Ralphs spokesman Terry O'Neill told this B!tch. "Otherwise, no dogs. It's a [city] health department issue."

So. There you have it. Daisy must be a Seeing Eye dog! A very decorative Seeing Eye dog. That happens to fit inside a Louis Vuitton carryall bag. And on that Vuitton bag is a tag with the words "Daisy, the Seeing Eye dog." That tag is invisible to all but C-list has-been reality stars, but it's there, all right.

Still not satisfied? Read an alternative explanation after the jump.

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Rachael Ray Goes to the Dogs

Rachael Ray rachaelray.com

Fido, meet Yum-o.

Rachael Ray is bringing her trademark brand of culinary perk to the pet world, launching a new line of premium dog food.

The Rover-friendly line, dubbed Rachael Ray Nutrish, features two varieties of all-natural pooch chow recipes, which have been both named after and developed for Ray's own four-legged friend, her pit bull Isaboo.

Proceeds from the products will be donated to Rachael's Rescue, an organization founded by the foodie that helps at-risk animals through the adoption process.

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Jessica Simpson Packs a Posse for Shoot

Jessica Simpson Flynet
More from Marc Malkin

Jessica Simpson was full of holiday cheer today.

And a full entourage, as well. I'm told there were at least a half a dozen people in her posse when she arrived to shoot her Macy's commercial this morning in Brooklyn, N.Y...

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Beverly Hills Chihuahua Viral Ads Take a Dark Turn

No matter how badly we want Disney to push up the release date of Beverly Hills Chihuahua, the amazing singing Aztec canines still won’t be hitting theatres for another couple of months. But that hasn’t stopped them from spreading their propaganda, which, we have to admit, has totally snared us.

But has this toy-size Drew Barrymore romp taken a truly dark turn? Check the video above where Papi (George Lopez) lists the grievances he has with humanity in front of a frighteningly large congregation of Chihuahuas. Wait—this movie just went from cute animated dogs to serious animal rights issues.

So what could these spolied brats really have to complain about? Well, maybe this...

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Sheryl Crow Driven by Mustangs

Sheryl Crow ZumaPress.com

Sheryl Crow thinks all horses should be free to soak up the sun.

The Detours artist has joined Viggo Mortensen and Peter Coyote as a host of the upcoming Documentary Channel feature Saving the American Wild Horse, which examines the animals' history in the U.S. and questions their fate as the government deems more and more roaming land off-limits.

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DMX Literally Lands in Jail

DMX, Mugshot

DMX is making a point of getting to know the bars everywhere he goes.

The beleaguered rapper was arrested for the third time in two weeks Wednesday when he landed in Phoenix and deplaned right into the cold embrace of an outstanding warrant issued when he, among other things, missed a court hearing.

DMX was flying in from Florida, where he was busted twice last week—on June 23 for driving with an invalid license and then four days later for allegedly trying to purchase marijuana and cocaine from an undercover cop.

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Burning Q's: Stylist-Free Zone & Lies About Lindsay

Paris Hilton Angela Coqueran/INFPhoto.com
More from Ask the Answer Bitch

Why do the papers write false stories in the tabloids about the stars like Denise Richards and Lindsay Lohan? Don't they know that it ruins their careers as well hurts their familes? The tabloids should print positive things about the stars.
—Steve

Just for you: Paris Hilton and not one, but three, puppies.

Do famous singers still have vocal coaches to help out with their singing while performing and recording tracks for albums?
—Millie, New Jersey

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Who's the Celebrity Pooper Scooper?

Celebrities aren't generally known for picking up after themselves, let alone their animals, so we have to tip our hats to this poop-scooping star who made a point of cleaning up after his dog—thereby keeping the streets of New York City clean and giving his boldfaced bretheren a good name, at least for the time being.

So just who is this considerate actor?

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Pamela on Jessica: Just Kidding!

More from Marc Malkin

If ya think there's a blonde-on-blonde battle brewing between Pamela Anderson and Jessica Simpson, think again.

Reports that Anderson has lashed out against Simpson for wearing a T-shirt recently that read "Real Girls Eat Meat" have been greatly exaggerated...

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Hip-Hop Time Travel: D-10 Brings the Week Again

As always, if you have the need to be up to speed, but don't want to read, then please heed:

Click above for the Daily 10's weekly Hollywood Rap-Up, covering shirtless Matty Mac's surfer army, Paris Hilton's puppy-prop blarney, Cynthia Nixon wants the boob-job talk to stop and, for comedy legend George Carlin? Mad props.

Got a minute? We've got a week.

THE BIG PIC

Bird of Paradise Rihanna pushes the style envelope as she soars onstage at Fashion Rocks in NYC

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