Madonna's Ex-Files: From Sean to Guy and Beyond

Madonna, John Benitez Ron Galella/Getty Images
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To know where you're going with Madonna, Mr. Rodriguez, it's best to know where she has been, love-wise. With the Big M being the most recent Hollywood scheduled divorcée (officially, at least) we want to ensure we don't have another sad postsplit Jennifer Aniston sitch on our hands. So we can all educate ourselves, let's take a look at where M's gone wrong in her past 'ships and where it should've gone better.

To begin with, there were Dan Gilroy (X-BF, 1979-1980) and Steve Bray (X-BF, 1980-1982), both one-time members of the Breakfast Club. And then:

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A-Rod Boning Up on Kabbalah as Madonna's Marriage Crumbles

Madonna, Alex Rodriguez Brian Zak/Sipa Press via AP images; Kevin Mazur/ Getty Images

Where's Waldo? What about A-Rod?

E! News has learned that Yankees slugger Alex Rodriguez knew Madonna was planning to drop the divorce bomb and was miles away "lying low" to avoid being connected to the split.

But while not physically together, the all-world ballplayer is apparently doing his best to keep up a spiritual bond. He attended Monday night's annual Sukkot services at the Kabbalah Centre in Los Angeles—the same spiritual center the Material One frequents when in town.

"Alex is really taking it seriously," says a source close to Rodriguez, who is reportedly holed up at the Beverly Hills Wilshire Hotel.

A rep for the Kabbalah Centre could not be reached for comment.

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Madonna, Guy Ritchie Divorcing

Guy Richie, Madonna Jeff Vespa/WireImage.com

Call it a love diffusion.

Madonna and Guy Ritchie's marriage is on the fritz, with the 50-year-old Queen of Pop and 40-year-old film director announcing their plans to divorce.

"Madonna and Guy Ritchie have agreed to divorce after 7½ years of marriage," their reps said in a joint statement. "They have both requested that the media maintain respect for their family at this difficult time. A final settlement has not been agreed upon yet."

"It is sad," Madonna publicist Liz Rosenberg told E! News.

Word of serious trouble in the Material World bubbled over in August amid reports that she had a dalliance with Alex Rodriguez, helping to wreck his marriage. Ritchie refuted the claims at the 50th birthday party he threw for her, while Rosenberg insisted their marriage "does not need saving."

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Gerard Butler Flashes Madge Some Crack!

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As the beefy star of Guy Ritchie’s London thug-life flick RocknRolla, Gerard Butler’s nothing if not a tough guy. So why does he drop his pants and giggle when Madonna comes around? When we talked recently, Butler explained why Guy’s wife got such a good view of his butt and why he thought it was so funny. Hit the clip to get the full story.

Rate-a-Trailer: Mad for Madonna's Filth and Wisdom?

Has Madonna finally found her (London) calling when it comes to movies?

After years of lackluster performances in mediocre flicks, the Material Mom decided to get behind the camera for a change and make her directorial debut with the quirky dark comedy Filth and Wisdom.

And if this new trailer is any indication, Madge might actually be able to teach her filmmaking hubby, Guy Ritchie, a thing or two. Hip and slightly naughty with a way cool soundtrack, it seems destined for cult status.

But that's our two pounds. Check it out and sound off in the comments section below!

Nourish Your Inner Self With Gwyneth Paltrow's GOOP

Gwyneth Paltrow, Madonna Kevin Mazur/Getty Images

Good news everyone, Gwyneth Paltrow is launching a lifestyle website—because when life is as amazing as hers obviously is, it’s selfish to keep all those fabulous secrets to yourself.

The name of this potentially life-altering site is GOOP. Go ahead, say it out loud a few times—it’s infinitely worse sounding than the word blog. She could have gone with Gwyneth Paltrow's Blog. Or Gwyneth Blogrow. Or Gwyneth's Blog of Lovely Things I Get to Do and You Probably Won't Get to Do but Should Consider Doing. But GOOP?

While the site is still in it’s beginning stages, it promises to offer tips on how to Make, Go, Get, Do, Be, and See like Gwyneth so that we may become as awesome as Gwyneth and eventually get to hang out with Madonna.

In the place of said tips for now, Gwyneth offers up a short essay explaining how she has achieved such an enviable life:

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Madonna's Striptease Tribute to Britney Spears

Britney Spears, Madonna Jive, Franziska Krus/Action Press/ZUMA
More from Marc Malkin

The Madonna and Britney Spears bandwagon rolls on!

Spears not only appears in a video montage shown during Madonna's latest concert tour, but she's also a source of inspiration in Filth and Wisdom, Madge's feature-film directorial debut about a ragtag group of friends struggling through life in England.

I won't give too much away (the movie comes out Oct. 17), but I will tell you that a pivotal scene involves a stripper dancing to Spears' "Baby One More Time." And yes, said stripper is even wearing—what else?—a skimpy school uniform and pigtails just like Britney wore in the song's now classic music video.

Guy Parties Late Night Minus Madonna

Madonna, Guy Ritchie Flynet
More from H'Wood Party Girl

Maybe Madonna really is getting old?

At her hubby Guy Ritchie's 40th birthday bash last night, Madge couldn't hang past 10 p.m. Guy was snapped helping his wobbly wife to the car before heading back inside The Punchbowl and continuing to party until 4 a.m.!

Of course, she may just be tired from touring...she performed Tuesday night in Frankfurt, Germany and has another show tonight.

But it looks like Guy had enough fun for both of them. He was making goofy faces at the paparazzi through the windows and heard having a late night singalong.

The Women Stars Talk Madge, Politics & the Mambo

Annette Bening, Meg Ryan, The Women Picturehouse
More from Marc Malkin

There's nothing like telling people I once went to bed with Cloris Leachman.

I did. Yesterday.

The 82-year-old legendary funnylady decided to take it easy while doing interviews for her new movie The Women, Diane English's remake of the 1939 camp classic, by relaxing under the bedcovers at the Four Seasons in Beverly Hills.

No doubt her upcoming turn as a contestant on Dancing With the Stars leaves her a bit more pooped than usual these days.

So, yes, I hopped on the bed and lay beside Ms. Leachman for our li'l chitchat.

But she wasn't the only gal I talked with yesterday. Read on for the highlights...

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Burning Q's: Madonna's Gypsies & Clooney's Boys

George Clooney, Richard Kind Kevin Mazur/Getty Images
More from Ask the Answer Bitch

I saw the press release that Madonna put out about all the numbers involving her tour. I saw something about costumes for the band and for "gypsies." Is she trafficking in gypsies?
—Rep, Ottawa

Yes, sweetie, the entire tour is a front for child trafficking, Chinese movie bootlegging and a black market body-part-thievery ring. Actually, Madonna has hired a bunch of actual Romany gypsies to play during portions of her show—they are guests and not considered to be part of the main band.

Often, I hear about George Clooney's buddies, those guys he apparently hangs out with in between dating up-and-coming model/actress types. Who are these guys?
—Agusta, Reykjavik

The main crew includes club owner Rande Gerber, also known as Cindy Crawford's husband, and comedic actor Richard Kind.

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Happy Birthday, Madonna!

Madonna Kevin Mazur/WireImage.com

Well, technically, it's tomorrow. But we wanted to be one of the first to send a shout-out to the Material Girl.

After all, this particular B-day's a biggie: Madonna's turning 50!

That makes her the newest Hollywood heavy in the Fabulous at 50 club, a superexclusive group of leading ladies who are just getting better with age. (Check out the gallery below.)

With her 11th studio album out this year and a world tour in the works, it doesn't seem like the iconic singer is slowing down yet—and that's why she rocks.

Congrats on the milestone, Madge!

Madonna: Adoption's a Rumor, Tour Is the Real Deal

Madonna Double Click Images, PacificCoastNews.com

The fate of Madonna's Sticky & Sweet tour just got a whole lot sweeter.

Despite rumors that the pop icon's elaborate world tour would be scrapped on account of illness—inspired by a seemingly sprained ankle—a rep for the singer’s concert promoter, Live Nation, tells E! News the show will go on.

“We haven’t canceled any shows, it’s a full go starting on [Aug.] 23,” says the rep.

Meanwhile, the singer’s longtime rep Liz Rosenberg came to E! News to set the record straight on reports that the Material Mom is thisclose to adopting another child…

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BIG PICTURE

Lovely Lady of London Even when dressed in simple head-to-toe black, expatriate Gwyneth brightens up the Big Smoke

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    Dakota Fanning puts the pedal to the medal when talk show host Ellen DeGeneres gives her an early driving lesson.

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