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The CW

Gossip Girl's lusty marketing minds have rolled out another series of steamy promos for the teen drama, this time craftily spotlighting nuggets of "praise" from the Parents Television Council ("Mind-Blowingly Inappropriate"), the Boston Herald ("Every Parent's Nightmare") and other outlets.

As with the show's other recent foray into shock-and-awe advertising, the campaign—meant to appeal to both our basest and our brightest (as in, our satire-appreciating) instincts—certainly fares well. And it obviously achieves the CW's No. 1 objective, which is to create buzz.

Admittedly, Serena, Blair, Nate and the rest are all played by fresh-faced 20-and-aboves (albeit none of whom would ever admit to having had as much sex in high school as their upper-crust characters) and none of the new spots proclaim "OMFG" but...

It's still a bunch of teens doin' it! Or about to do it. Or very obviously thinking about doin' it.

Check out just how far we've come from Brenda and Dylan's tender moment at the spring dance after the jump...

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Max Vadukel for Rolling Stone Magazine

The Jonas Brothers are pretty much perfect—they’re adorable, have spectacular heads of hair and wear cool clothes. And that is exactly the reason why their Rolling Stone feature is, um, boring.

At least it is until the end, when the writer insinuates there’s a little somethin’-somethin’ going on between the youngest bro, Nick, and up-and-coming Disney star Selena Gomez. The two are totally touching in a blurry picture taken backstage that a Disney publicist asked to be deleted but, of course, was not.

And now the graphic details of a photo that could devastate legions of fans. Seriously, don't continue reading if you can't take it:

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Clark Samuels/startraksphoto.com

Audrina Patridge did this weekend what she does best—let it all hang out. And this time it was at the DKNY Jeans Beach House in Malibu. But at least the reality star was (semi)clothed during this photo op.

And clothed or not, we do love this teeny-weeny bikini on Patridge. Not only does her barely there bathing suit show off that perfectly toned frame, but even her cleavage looks fly. Her lady lumps typically tend to look way too big for her tiny figure, but here she looks just right. Agreed?

See who else is getting next to nekkid in our Summer Skin gallery.

missamerica.org

The Miss America Organization is putting all of its chips on neon.

The pageant proprietor announced Thursday that Miss America Live! will be returning to Las Vegas' Planet Hollywood Resort & Casino for the next two years.

The hotel on the famed Vegas Strip was also the scene of 2008 Miss America Live!, TLC's revamped take on the festivities, which now include a series of competitions leading up to the main event and plenty of online interaction.

To combat flagging interest in the nearly century-old tradition, the competition also made a brief foray into reality TV last year, when CMT aired the seven-episode Finding Miss America.

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INFphoto.com

Ah, summer. The perfect time to catch a glimpse of our favorite celebs without all their designer clothing piled on. (Hmmm...that sounds creepier than we intended.)

Anyway, let's get to the point: Who could this superslim bikini bod belong to?

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In Touch Weekly/National Photo Group

We’re just going to assume Vanessa Hudgens is straddling Zac Efron in her bikini on this romantic Caribbean beach because she’s about to tickle attack him—not only for the sake of the couple’s young High School Musical fan base but also our own.

(We prefer to think of our Zefron as innocent and darling as Troy Bolton. Vanessa, on the other hand, well, we already got her number down.)

The Disney power couple took a superromantic weeklong vacation in the Turks and Caicos being a “happy young couple” and “laughing all the time,” according to In Touch. Those crazy kids, they really cut loose down there.

Think Troy and Gabriella will get this far in HSM3? Remember, it took them two whole TV movies just to kiss.

INFdaily.com

We loved the dark locks Hayden Panettiere wore on the Heroes set a few weeks back, but we're not so sure about this cut. So take our poll below to help us decide.

What say you: Is this new look a don't or a do?

INCO/Fame Pictures

Hollywood's having a hat attack.

Seemingly thousands—or at least a dozen or so—of Tinseltown's most terrific have found themselves under the heady influence of summer's most necessary accessory: the straw fedora.

In fact, so prevalent is this head covering that if we didn't know better, we'd suspect these stars are all sharing the same hat.

But that's crazy. For one, there's the ick factor, and then don't even go into the whole sizing nightmare. Also, we occasionally see stars wearing different kinds of hats, which is what we like to call "the exception that proves the rule." It's also sometimes called "things that don't quite fit our thesis," but we included anyway because we get paid by the word.

Whatever. This is a trend. And we have proof. Check out our Celebrities in Hats gallery to see just what's brimming under the fevered, strangely wrinkle-free brows of Hollywood's hottest.

Frank Micelotta / Fox, Gianni Riccio/Lapresse/ZumaPress

Jordin Sparks is getting in touch with Jesse McCartney and his Beautiful Soul.

The tween favorites are teaming up this summer for a 16-date North American tour, kicking off Aug. 5 in Sacramento, Calif.

"I am really excited to be going out and sharing the stage with someone as talented as Jesse McCartney," Sparks said. "He brings a soulful voice, heart of gold and his good looks to the stage every night, and I can't wait to share it with him."

The 21-year-old McCartney, whose latest glory has come from behind the scenes as cowriter of the Leona Lewis hit "Bleeding Love," readily returned the compliment to the 18-year-old American Idol winner.

"Jordin has the most incredible voice," the former Summerland star said. "She's one of those pure talents you don't see a lot of in this business. I can't wait to get out there with her."

Jesse & Jordin Live will also include stops in Los Angeles, New York, Boston and Sparks' hometown of Glendale, Ariz.