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There is some old NBA player named Winston Bennett and he told this show on ESPN that when he was playing basketball he slept with 90 women a month.  So I did the math and let's just say that's a lot of women.  I mean there are only 30 days in a month sometimes 31 and also once a year 28.  So he had to do it like three times a day which is already a big deal but he did it three times a day with three different women?  No wonder he is a former NBA player obviously that dude didn't have time to play any basketball.

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I cannot believe that that guy Jesse James is rumored to have cheated on his wife Sandra Bullock.  I don't know for sure if it is true but it sure doesn't look good, plus he just said he was sorry so that's not a good sign at all.  She is so sweet and pretty he sucks.  I would not do that to her and not just because she has an Oscar but that sure would help make me stay faithful.  I won't ever buy a motorcycle from him.

We had a big book party for Chelsea and it was really nice.  Well I didn't have it but somebody did and lots of people showed up.  All of the people from the show were told they were supposed to walk the red carpet so they did.  But guess what they all had to spell their names for the photographers nobody knew who they were and guess who didn't have to spell his name for them?  CHUY.  They all know me.  Take that funny people.

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I went to go see Cop Out because I love Tracy Morgan so much.  He could read a grocery list and it would be hilarious I love the way he talks.  Every once in a while I see a movie and I am like man that was amazing.  This was not one of those times.  Hey maybe when you make a movie that is silly it should not be like 2 and a half hours buddy.

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Well it is St. Patrick's day.  That's cool, I don't drink but I know people like to get out and party on today.  I don't understand why people that aren't Irish get so excited but I guess that's just a good excuse to go to a bar.  But I know some people that get up early and go eat corned beef at like six in the morning.  That's taking things a little far.  No need to get up and go out.  Just buy corned beef and eat it in bed like I do. So stupid.

It's getting warmer here in California and so it's time for me to get ready for my bathing suit body.  I don't like to diet so what I should do is maybe start working out.  I tried to take a spinning class but my legs are too short to reach the pedals, I tried yoga but I fell asleep and the only pose I could do was the one baby pose.  Somebody give me some ideas.  Don't suggest running, pilates or sit-ups or push-ups.  Or that stair thing or the treadmill.  Also I hate the elliptical thing.  But I'm open to anything else.

Lots of people are telling me that they love Ms Chelsea's new book Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang and it makes them cry with laughter.  I am having someone read it to me, not because I can't read but just because I like making my friend Ryan do stuff.  So far people are right it is funny, but let's calm down it isn't making me cry with laughter.  Sometimes I cry at work though, but it's not from laughing.

I heard a story about this guy who was on a plane and he scratched his lottery ticket and it was a winner.  He got really excited and he wanted to get off the plane and get his winnings but he couldn't because they weren't at their stop yet so he got mad and ate the ticket.  That was pretty stupid.  But I bet it tasted better than that crappy plane food.

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I don't know why Ms Chelsea and everybody makes so much fun of that actress Mo'Nique for not shaving her legs.  I kind of like a woman with hairy legs that way if I fall off of the bed I have something to grab on to.

Disney Enterprises

Oh man I am so excited to see the movie Alice in Wonderland.  I love 3D movies when the stuff jumps out at you it is super cool plus I look really good in those glasses.  Hey Tim Burton call me I will leave this job in a second to work for you.

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There are a bunch of pictures in the magazine In Touch that show famous girls up close on their legs and the cellulite that they secretly have.  I don't think that is very nice.  There is no way when you sit down to make your thighs look good believe me I have tried.  I bet the person that took those photos has cellulite too so where is their heart?  Publish photos of your own legs you jerk and leave my girl Rihanna alone.

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Sarah Palin did stand-up comedy on The Jay Leno Tonight Show the other night. I couldn't sleep because I was having trouble sleeping so I saw it. She was funny. I don't get why Ms Chelsea can't let her be on the round table. I would like to look at her instead of some of the slobs that we usually have.