Touchstone Television/NBC/Sci-FiWe've got something to tell you, friends.
Somehow, some way, it is almost July. July literally starts tomorrow. Half the year is gone, Game of Thrones returns in only two weeks, and 2017 is slowly slipping away. But as if because July knows its arrival is somewhat alarming, it's starting things off with what is basically a four-day weekend. Sure, you could celebrate America's independence by going outside and enjoying the summer sun, but that's where sunburns come from, kids. Sunburns are bad and cancer-causing, so it's actually much healthier for you to sit inside and watch TV all weekend long.
Trust us—we're (TV) doctors. (Disclaimer: We're not doctors at all.)
Some channels have kindly scheduled marathons so you don't even have to think about what to watch, but we've also included shows that have recently hit Netflix or Hulu so that you can make your own marathon if you so choose. Either way, there is simply no excuse for you to not watch TV this weekend. None at all!
(Important Note: E! will be showing the patriotic classic Independence Day for 24 straight hours, starting at 6am on July 4th, through 6am on July 5. You're welcome.)
Saturday, July 1
Say Yes to the Dress: 6 a.m. to 1 p.m., TLC
Teen Titans Go: 9 a.m. to 4 p.m., Cartoon Network
That ‘70s Show: 8 a.m. to 3 p.m., Comedy Central
Roseanne: 1:30 a.m. to 4 p.m., TV Land
Cops: 4 p.m. to 4 a.m., Spike
MASH: 3pm to 12 a.m., Sundance
Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives: 7 p.m. to 4 a.m., Food Network
Doctor Who: 9 a.m. to 10 p.m., BBC America
Andy Cohen's Then & Now: 4 a.m. to 1:06 p.m., Bravo
Ridiculousness: Friday 8 p.m. to 10 a.m., MTV
Law & Order: SVU: 9 a.m. to 1 a.m., ION
Snapped: 8 a.m. to 2 a.m., Oxygen
Law & Order: 4 a.m. to 1 p.m., TNT
Sunday, July 2
That ‘70s Show: 8 a.m. to 3 p.m., Comedy Central
The Golden Girls: 7:48 a.m. to 4 p.m., TV Land
Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta: 11 a.m. to Monday, 9 p.m., VH1
The Real Housewives of Potomac: 10:59 a.m. to 8 p.m., Bravo
Blue Bloods: 9 a.m. to 1 a.m., ION
House Hunters: 1 p.m. to 8 p.m., HGTV
Naked and Afraid: 9 a.m. to 3 a.m., Discovery Channel
Snapped: 8 a.m. to 9 p.m., Oxygen
Law & Order: 4 a.m. to 1 p.m., TNT
Storage Wars: 1 p.m. to 3:30 a.m., A&E
Monday, July 3
Law & Order: SVU: 2 a.m. to 8 p.m., USA
The Andy Griffith Show: 9 a.m. to 6 p.m., TV Land
Cops: 9 a.m. to 3:30 a.m., Spike
MASH: 6 a.m. to 1:30 p.m., Sundance
Star Trek: Voyager: 6 a.m. to Tuesday, 10 a.m., BBC America
The Real Housewives of Orange County: 4 a.m. to 11 p.m., Bravo
Jersey Shore: 5 a.m. to 6 p.m., MTV
Criminal Minds: 11 a.m. to 1 a.m., ION
Fixer Upper: 12 p.m. to 8 p.m., HGTV
Snapped: 6 a.m. to 9 a.m., Oxygen
Bizarre Foods: 1 p.m. to 4 a.m., Travel Channel
The Simpsons: 6pm to 12am, FXX
Tuesday, July 4
The Twilight Zone: 12 a.m. to Wednesday, 5 a.m., Syfy
South Park: 9 a.m. to 5:50 p.m., Comedy Central
NCIS: 7 a.m. to 8 p.m., USA
Blue Bloods: 9 a.m. to 7 p.m., WGN America
The Golden Girls: 9 a.m. to 4 p.m., TV Land
Treehouse Masters: 6 a.m. to Wednesday, 5 a.m., Animal Planet
Star Trek: The Next Generation: 10 a.m. to Wednesday, 5 a.m., BBC America
Storage Wars and Storage Wars New York: 8 a.m. to 4 a.m., FYI
Below Deck Mediterranean: 6 a.m. to 11 p.m., Bravo
Criminal Minds: 11 a.m. to 11 p.m., ION
Beachfront Bargain Hunt: 1 p.m. to 8 p.m., HGTV
Snapped: 6 a.m. to 2 p.m., Oxygen
Bizarre Foods: Delicious Destinations: 8 a.m. to 4 a.m., Travel Channel
What to Binge:
Game of Thrones: Catch up before the season seven premiere on July 16 with all episodes on HBO.
The Originals: The excellent season 4 hits Netflix on Saturday.
GLOW: The first season is currently available on Netflix, and it's great.
Reign: The final season just hit Netflix!
The Handmaid's Tale: Stress yourself out with some incredible performances, all on Hulu.
Younger: Catch up on the TVLand darling with all three seasons now on Hulu.
Gypsy: Naomi Watts' dangerous therapist show premiered on Netflix today.
Playing House: All eight (amazing) episodes of season three are on USA on demand.
Dear White People: Celebrate the Netflix series' season two renewal by binging season one!
What are your 4th of July TV plans? Let us know in the comments!